While some view perfectionism as a valuable character trait, others view it as a very destructive habit or thinking error. Hillary Rettig thinks it’s even worse than that! "Perfectionism is a kind of toxic filter through which you view yourself, your work, and the world." Six Overarching Mistakes Perfectionists Make There are 6 overarching mistakes that perfectionists make: Perfectionists hold unrealistic definitions of success and punish themselves harshly for perceived failures. ...read more
New Research: 4 Misconceptions about Teenage Brains
Modern times have brought parenting challenges unimagined a generation ago. Thankfully, the last decade has produced a ton of research about the teen brain. "Scientists believed—incorrectly, as it turned out—that brain growth was pretty much complete by the time a child started kindergarten; this is why for the past two decades parents of infants and toddlers, trying to get a jump on their children’s education, have inundated their kids with learning tools and accessories like Baby Einstein ...read more
The Best Time to Plant a Tree…..
I was talking with a young client yesterday who feels that he has not accomplished as much as other people his age. He looks around him and all he sees are the accomplishments of others, without ever pondering or recognizing his own accomplishments….or, worse, without ever seeing how much of his energy is tied up in thinking about how much he hasn’t accomplished! Of course, these thoughts of regret just keep him stuck, playing over and over again what he thinks he “should have” done based on ...read more
TIME TRAVEL: What Time Is It In YOUR Time Zone?
TIME TRAVEL “Time travel is possible." While some do it more often than others, generally one of our biggest errors lies in spending our mental and emotional energy “living” in the future or the past, or in other words, in NARRATIVE mode. We think about what we need to get done (today, tomorrow, and last week’s procrastinated tasks). Or we think about what went wrong in the past (our own failures and past emotional drama and trauma). We think about what we want our spouses, children, bosses, ...read more
The Gift of Desperation
As a therapist, I know that no one ever makes an appointment with me when their lives are going perfectly well (grin). Clients come to their first appointment with trepidation, having reached the point where they will take the scary step to reach out for some help. The Gift of Desperation The “gift of desperation” brings us to a place where we will take action, no longer willing to stay, one more second, in that place of stuckness, despair, fear, or whatever we’re experiencing. C.S. ...read more